Before it became one of Self-choose'the most successful creators, Elaina St. James Long live a very different life, one built around the dream of "prince charming". In 36, the middle twisted gender believed that love, marriage and motherhood is the ultimate "endgame". Instead, she captured in the control relationship, which supports years heart layer, failed IVF treatments and breaking the agreement that the man who loved more than the heart. Now 58 and advanced, St. James finally opens in the chapter that almost destroyed it and how he eventually led her to her rebirth.

Raised on the promise of the happiness-after, Elaine said an explosion that spent the twenties and thirties seek "of the one.

"I wanted you to travish Kelce Prince Charming," she laughed. "That end of love where everything looks bright." When she met a lawyer in California who checked every box, handsome, charming, successful, ready for children, she was convinced she would hit Jackpot. She left her advanced sales career, she sold home in Wisconsin and moved around the country to build the life she had always dreamed of.

"I entered his quadruple house in Orange County and thought," This is it. I've been waiting for this whole life, "she recalled.

The dream called quickly. What started as small compromises soon became a form of overall control. She was just who liked, buying him where he preferred, folded her underwear on his way and stopped talking to friends or even her mother while he was at home. "He would say," When I'm here, you should be on me, "without obeying, would go quietly days," Elaine recalled.

Her world became less than a week. "I wasn't just his partner. I was his assistant, his cook, maids and his emotional guardian."

When the pregnancy did not come naturally, the couple turned to IVF. Elaine threw everything into him, a strict diet, hormonal injection, yoga, even hypnotherapy, would convince a baby that would heal their relationship.

"I told the doctor," pump it. Do everything you need, "he remembers." We needed to do this. "Every failed cycle has deepened the cracks, accusing her if she had ever been pregnant." She said. "It was like watching my future disappeared."

After years of fertility treatment and emotional abuse, Elaine's world implode. Her partner left her with a younger woman who soon had a baby she couldn't. "I felt like I'm drowning," she admitted. "He killed my soul."

At the lowest point in December 2007, she thought she had finished her life. What was lively was a living was a small spark of hope, and that was motherhood. "The only thing that kept me was a thought that maybe I could somehow become mom," Elaina said.

Two years later, miracle maternity was achieved. Elaine gave birth to a healthy, almost 10 pounds of the children's boy, everyone alone. "I did it," she said proudly. "It wasn't a story I imagined, but that was the one I should."

Motherhood became her life Vilan and her new purpose. "To have a child with him, every decision, even what baby shopping food would be another struggle. If you do it myself gave me freedom."