One year after the destructive loss of his daughter, Alexa PenavegaHer honor is remembering a deeply personal and emotional way.

During the weekend, the Star "spy children" shared a raw and heart rate on Instagram, caught a moment when she held her a mermany daughter, Indy Rex Penaveg, in the hospital.

In the photo, Alexa Penavega can see the cralits of the girl, the moment she described as "the hardest" she has ever experienced.

"This was the most plain moment I've ever experienced," she wrote in the inscription. "I remember that I feel so hard to breathe. It hurts so deep. How was this really? It wasn't real. Every emotion flooded at once."

Alexa, who shares three children, Ocean, 8, Kingston, 5 and Riya, 3, with his wife, actor and singer Carlos Penavegareflected in a mixture of sadness and spiritual surrender to her family experienced after loss.

"Everything was beyond our control," she shared. "We had to get it over to God. The burden was too heavy to carry, so he took the weight from us and pulled us out in his peace."

Despite the heart, Alexa said that during the last year, he witnessed unexpected beauty from the tragedy.

"We watched people heal because Indy. We watched the sadness was raised for Indy. We looked to refer to renewal ... so much meaning and purpose," it says. "Our cute girl today celebrates with Jesus."

She added: "And as we still mourn and want to have it in your arms ... we know he's waiting for us in a place that is out of everything we can imagine. Jeremiah 29:11."

The "Sleepover" actress also shared a touch of black and white photo of her three children who holds a framed image of the baby Indy.

She wrote over the picture in his Instagram stories, "Our Forever World Gearbox (White Heart Emoji) Happy Heavenly Birthday Girls."

Carlos echoed the feelings of his wife by sharing a similar photo and writing ", happy Heavenly birthday Indy girl. (White heart emoji) Our small world gearbox. Psalm 34:18."

"After a beautiful and peaceful delivery, our daughter 'Indy' was born at rest," they wrote at the time. "This girl has already changed our lives in so many ways. She was absolutely beautiful. And she looked like Dad. Dark hair and everything."

In the weeks that followed, Alexa opened in an emotional video, calling the experience "the most traumatic thing" she and Carlos have ever endured.

"I don't think I experienced anything like that, and I will never ever experience this way," she said that last May added that in spite of pain, her family was never stronger. "