Lucas gauge Said that he got "sympathy" for his little soul while writing Its new memory - Even if it makes it wake up difficult memories for him and his family.

Especially for a moment was trigging for his mother, when he described the Shibir consultant in his youth.

The 30 -year -old gauge said exclusively, "We heard me so wounded about the things we had happened to us." Our weekly Forward I wrote it for attentionThe book release on Tuesday, October 8, had to tell his mother that he mentioned that he was forced to perform sexual activity in front of the consultant.

"I think you know, as a mother, I think you don't want to think you have failed your kids OursThe "And there are so many things that were out of control and you could only protect your kids so much" "

Although his mother could not protect her from being harmed, Gauge said that she was always "surprised" as a parent.

"He took over as a father and mother, as he was a bad ass," she said. "I think he couldn't do anything to protect me. The world is a crazy, frightening place and you can only protect your kids so much."

Bad for his mother and his sensitive response to his trauma, decided to be weak about the gauge All parts of the life of his bookThe It included describing his uncomfortable fight with an old camp consultant.

"Suddenly the door to the tent was unzipped, and we both became frosty. A shadowing image was inside their face. As soon as the silhouette approached, I realized that it was always flirting with all other consultants," the gauge wrote in his memory. "In the twentieth century, handsome Australian: who expelled a raw, drug addict and angry charm that appeared at a decade - the man I wanted to be."

Puddle Actor Reminded all his clothes, but because the consultant was looking up to us above and below, "We too may be naked".

"I tried to cover myself, though nothing was revealed and I had nowhere to go," Gauge wrote, he was with a colleague named Nina when the counselor set foot in the tent and the canvas flap was zipped behind him. "

The gauge almost immediately realized that if he chose "performance" on behalf of the consultant, he would "not be in trouble" to stay in the tent with Nina ".

The actor wrote, "As she started to go around, she unzipped her pants. I knew it was wrong because it was wrong. It was wrong for him," "It was wrong that I felt uncomfortable that I felt nothing. It was wrong that I liked the thrill of doing something forbidden."

Gauge explained that his "skin felt dirty" and his stomach "tendred" but he used his "anxiety and tried to turn it into excitement."

He thought that the consultant was instructed to "kiss his tough" as a consultant to touch themselves and to open their shirts to take their bodies closer.

"I was hesitant, then reluctantly began to take off my shirt. The time began to speed up, and suddenly I was no longer afraid of it. I was no longer present for it. The whole new avatar was raised," Gauge wrote. "I was so disconnected from myself - I see, I am separated as if I was controlling me a SIM on my computer screen."

After a while, the gauge recalled the counselor to "sound" and then he "came in my sleeping bag."

"When I was back in my body, I was alone in the same sleeping bag now, the sun started to rise. What happened last night?"

After writing his memoir, Gauge said Ours A The most difficult part I was learning "to be honest with myself".

He explained, "I think it's really easy to talk about a lot of stuff in your life and make a joke from it, or you know that there is a very surface layer with it but

The gauge revealed, "I had a lot of sympathy for that little, emotional, reckless child It was amazing. I feel very grateful that I had a lot of time to dig my own."

I wrote it for attention The books are now available wherever they are sold.

If you or someone you know are sexually abused, please contact National sexual abuse hotline 1-800-656-hop (4673) at.