Melania Brown Many things: To most of us he is Mail B - virtually friend. She is the frightening spice of the bestseling girl group of all time, SpiceThe She is a six season Got talent Fan dear, now the judges are returning to the table. She is the mother of three equally creative children, Phoenix, 26, Angel, 18, and Madison, 13 and she's a hairstylist's fiancee RoryA person who woken up a love in him that he never experienced.

More than a decade ago, his life looked completely different. He has made an incredibly dark and painful time in his 2018 reminiscences, Honestly honestThe Self-meditation and no other way, Brown consumed about 200 aspirin and tried to take his own life in 2014. "What were you thinking? Earth or your friends and family would be better without you?" Brown, 49, says Our weekly About that time. "I was self-confident, guilt, how far I was in the whole situation."

Brown finally found the power to quit the relationship between him and returned to the Leads of England in 2019. His next steps: therapy, rebuilding ... and happiness! He Her dreams are planning to get married While surviving its best #farm life in a century old house of Traditional Testing stone on 15 acres of land with goats and many more. And he is taking a welcome detor to LA to join Agt Its landmarks for the 20th season (NBC, May 27, 8 pm).

Most importantly, he is using his voice to help "as much as possible to women, especially those who survived torture", as a sponsor of domestic violence as a sponsor of charitable female assistance. Brown says, "I can find myself more, especially where I came from, I feel so unexpected and ineligible," said Brown. "I was able to find out my little road in a peaceful place." The star speaks Ours About healing after heartbreaking.

Was you an invitation to return to a serendipitus moment for you?

Oh, of course, because I'm in the better place. When I was Agt (From 2013 to 2018), it was a very bad time. It was my dirty little privacy. I didn't know how to tell anyone. I was very embarrassed, guilty and ashamed. (However) in the days of this filming, I can be 10 hours, not myself. I really enjoyed sitting next to Hayway (mandel), hadei (clum) And Simon (Kauel)The This time, I Happy at the deskAnd I'm going to be happy to go home because it's completely different setup and scene.

You have revived the fantasy league spin of 2024. AGT fans are now responding to that you will be around all summer?

I hope they are excited because I'm really excited. My kids are delighted. Since I returned to the UK in 2019, I was like this, "I'm not a US citizen, so if you want me you will get me an open visa."

Is it difficult to come back after such a difficult year?

Everything has come the whole circle. I never thought that I would return to the United States it had some ekey feeling - especially LA, because I got a lot of things here and divorced here. (However) I am falling in love with it again because it is my conditions, a lot of freedom, self-love and self-care.

What city did you get triggers?

I'm going to trigger my whole life, especially after what I have done. I would be very dishonest to say, "Oh, everything is fine." I have good days. I have bad days. I know if I have done enough work on myself to know if any trigger is coming. I have tools to be able to calm myself down, what is real, what is not real, PTSD key and simply calm yourself.

Going forward is the very hard thing because you can do two steps ahead and five steps back. I know I am going to do a job, but I am so far away-through the border-therapy, with lots of confidence and faith, and I'm proud of it.

Year ago, you tried to commit suicide. Did you recognize the woman who has no hope?

I cannot deny what I have done. That person is still there, and when he now crops again and again I hug him. I will never go to that dark place again. I have the tools to be able to recognize it and say "I'm sorry" to that person, which I am, and don't let myself feel like that. Because I'm better than that.

How did your Spice Girls do the "Sister" factor in your ride?

Since I was on a tour at the end of my relationship, I was very protected. I kept this national obstacle because I wanted to make sure that I was being well displayed. It was very much for me to admit it to the girls - then I need to admit it to myself. And what is it then? There was nowhere to turn around. So the girls were there, but I know they seemed guilty. I told them many times before, "It didn't have anything to do with you. If you tried me to tremble and go, 'I know what's going on,' I deny it because I wasn't really ready to realize this."

Can you remember a breakthrough moment in therapy?

To look for EMDR. (Eye movements and re -processing therapy are involved in the memory of your traumatic memory, involving removing your eyes in a certain way)) Because I didn't have to talk. Talking is recovering it. EMDR makes that pain easier without sound. For me, it was much more cured than any other therapy.

You were finally caught PTSD. What are your strategies to manage it?

I have music Candle and incense. I prefer to feel comfortable because my job, which I like and don't really work, so (fast speed). I was always on the days of my mosquito: I prefer to be at home with fire and watch (TV) with fire. What I was watching the other day that I have never seen? Game of Thrones!

How would you navigate your mental health struggles while in public eyes?

I make sure my brain has a break where I go to Thailand myself. I got up on my farm without my phone so that my kids or fiancies couldn't contact me unless they were perfectly (the other) field. I make a place to breathe and feel and feel to be able to sit.

It is definitely satisfied it is certainly satisfied to buy your own home in Leeds.

I just left my relationship with no money and little idea about where my money went. I had to live with my mom (Underpiece) During Covid, which was a nice thing to look back because (i) there is no need to go anywhere. We had to dig deep about what I got and my mum had experienced and be honest with each other. He thought that in most of my relationships I didn't want to talk to him or did not want him in my life. All the cycle of isolation from friends and family is part of all the cycles and it had to repair it.

I didn't think I would ever be able to create financial stability, but I worked hard. I have been looking for houses for about four years, thinking, "I will never be able to afford it, but I'm going to look for anyway." This house was displayed at the right time.

What would you say that you learned about yourself through all this?

I'm elastic. And I don't accept things for dignity. As long as I am true to myself and keep my side of the street clean, I'm good to go. I think women are elastic in general. See, we give birth, we are multitasks. We can hold a job and stay with business issues and kids on the phone. (We) confirm that they got the packed lunch. We are all

How has your outlook on love developed over the years?

I didn't want to stay on the other with that relationship of 10 years. I was about my kids, they confirmed that they (okay) were okay and on their healing ride. Rory, a beautiful family friend, a hairdresser, so he was nurturing my curls behind. When I left my ex, I cut my hair and made it a blonde color. I wanted to get rid of something that forced me to think (relationships). So I like, "Can you come and help me?" As (Rory) was nurturing my curls, he was cherishing my faith in my love and faith again - which is a huge thing for me because the person I love and believe has become the worst mistake for me. Two years ago I was like this, "You can find someone else i'm I am very broken." Rory goes, "Melania, I'm not going anywhere. Because I love you absolutely."

What does your fiance bring in your life?

So much sympathy and compromise. He is very special. He is a very confident man, and it is a man to me. He feels me so safe - I didn't understand how unsafe I felt because it became normal to me. Where now I have to give myself a pinch and go, "You're very kind. Are you still going to be kind? Can I marry you? Can I believe in my own instinct?" And you can.

A big milestone of you is coming: 29 May 50 Turning? Plan?

I'm not really a party person. I can celebrate, but I always think that there is so much pressure to be happy that day. My father's birthday was my previous day and I always spent my birthdays with him. He has passed in 2017, so I don't know what happens for my 50th. The previous day, I am always sad. I am missing my father.

Do you think that you will do something separately in your 50s?

I can find myself more. I really had to work with it, and I was going to work with it all my life. I always developed. I like myself. So 50, though it's a big thing, I like, bring it.

What did you do to do a job you want to perform in this decade?

I think I've done quite a lot of things and unexpectedly. I am very grateful for him. At one point, I would like to lay my own foundation (to help people who survived women and especially torture).

While working extensively with Women's Aid (Women's Aurg.wake) abroad, you can get resources and assistance in the United States through national domestic violence hotline (1-800-799-security or Thehotline.org)

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