Allison HolkerIt releases the light on the darker side of the dance world, revealing alleged abuse that endured as a teenager as she navigale her passion for performance.

A professional dancer, most famous for their performances on ", so you think you can dance" and her time on "dance with the stars," it opens about these painful experiences as part of her upcoming memoir.

The process of writing memoir was a deep emotional journey for Allison Holker, forcing it to oppose not only with their past struggles inside the dance community, but also an unimaginable grief of husband's loss, Stephen "Twitch" boss.

In addition to her relationship with the boss, Holker is wrapped in the wider challenges he faced, and personally and professionally.

"I have experienced my first time my first time as if I used it," Holker said on a recent episode "Jamie Kern Lima exhibition " Podcast When we talk about alleged abuse that has experienced at the age of 17. "I had a older man really exploiting the vulnerability that women pass, especially in the dance community."

Holker admitted to knocking on the only-guilt, sharing, "where we look towards our teachers and we just trust them, and we just believe, and we just believe and dance can be very physical, can be very sexually, Even at a young age. "

"It took me a lot of years. I felt like I was guilty, because it could have gotten it into that place? I must have done something wrong and I felt so embarrassing to what I was," she added.

Holker discovered that she needed "many years" to process and heal from trauma.

"I was so embarrassed. To this day it's one of those things. Man, if I just said to myself, maybe I could have built and helped with other young girls not to let that happen," she said. "I'm proud of myself now."

Holker noted that she became her mother changed the way she watched the past. . "I realized I had to build it I liked it if she ever happened to her."

Packing abuse that endured as a teenager, Holker wants to draw attention to the often hidden questions inside the dance industry and inspire others who may have faced similar difficulties.

Holker is preparing to play memoirs ", this far: My story about love, loss and accept light," 8. February. The book, which Holker described as a deeply personal, the chronicle of her journey for his wife's death, Stephen "Twitch", and the goal is to provide a message of hope and resilience for other confrontation with similar fighting.

In a recent interview with People MagazineHolker discovered that she worked on the memoir for years, but the project paused after the chief of tragic death in December 2022. years. It is now preparing to share their story, including intimate details about living and mental health fighting.

However, this decision encouraged controversy, especially from the head of the extended family.

Darielle, Boss's relative, was taken to X (earlier Twitter) to vote his anger, accusing Holker on non-compliance. "I'm so tired of holding closed with me, brother. You did our family so mf dirty," Darielle wrote.

In the follow-up of the post, Darielle claimed that Holker needed his family to sign non-disclosure agreements (NDAs) to attend his funeral and ever prevented them from seeing his children.

"Yes, Idgaf about the NDA. This crazy woman made me think of his real family name alone just to even attend the funeral," she said. "He tries to trouble heritage and refuses to let his family boss see the children. Just to take advantage of and lies on his cousin. Hell No."

"Stephen and our families fans, I want to be clear that my only intention in writing books shares your own story as well as part of your life with Stephen to help other people shared on her instagram stories. "I hope to share our full story may help someone else who could see myself or loved in Stephen. In sharing I hope I may catch some (of) the red flags I missed before I'm too late."