Reality television star Heidi Monday opened up to our weekly He didn't hold back in an exclusive interview about what he took on — and what he wishes he had — while evacuating the L.A. wildfires.

"I didn't know what to do," the mountain alum says our Wednesday, Jan. 15, marks the moment she realized she and her family had to flee the uncontrollable fire burning through Pacific Palisade. “Nothing could have prepared me for it … you just can't wrap your head around it. I started packing things that made sense—I wasn't really thinking about anything else."

Heidi, 38, and her husband, Spencer PrattAccording to an initial Instagram post shared by Spencer's sister, who lost their home in the fire, Stephanie PrattJanuary 7. Heidi and Spencer, 41, share children Gunnar, 7, and Ryker, 2.

Heidi revealed that in the panic, her priority when packing up their lives was "the kids' stuff".

“So I got them teddy bears. I happened to have, randomly, from the tooth fairy, Gunner's tooth that he left in my closet, so I grabbed it," she explained. "I grabbed some of the documents we had — the ones from the (previous) fire a few years ago. It was packed. I grabbed two pairs of jeans and two shirts. I grabbed a pair of shoes — a pair of sneakers."

In the couple's haste, they were also forced to leave behind many cherished possessions — items that are now destroyed. One item, Spencer explained, was a special Christmas present he convinced his wife to buy for herself.

"He got nothing of his own," he said our. “Then, just before Christmas, he found these Golden Goose shoes in Palisade Village. It was his great gift. I was like, 'Just get your golden goose.' He didn't.

Heidi explained that she thought she would be able to "come back for them."

"It hit me at the end of packing that I might not be coming back," he added. “I was like, 'Oh my God, I've got to go to the kids' room and I've got to catch their bears. And I had Gunner, he had a fever of 104 - he had a fever for days - and I was just busy with him ... (I was) just grabbing at things and wandering around anxiously and aimlessly."
In addition to her new shoes, Heidi said she wished she had held "photos" she explained she could never get back.

"I don't have any pictures," she said. “I have all these photo albums that I made for rSpencer before Instagram and TikTok and iPhone. This photo (that) I will no longer have. All these sentimental things are gone, you know?"

So far, the Palisades, Eaton and other smaller fires have burned a combined 38,600 acres. NBC News. At least 27 people died and 12,000 structures were destroyed. Including multiple celebrities Mandy Moore, Milo Ventimiglia, Paris Hilton And Miles TellerThey lost their houses in the fire.

For Heidi and Spencer, it's not so much "stuff" as their community that they miss.

“I miss our friends. I miss our daily life. I miss dropping my son there at school. I miss our whole world and I'm so sorry for all our friends,” she told us through tears “I am so sorry for our entire community. It's not just our loss—it's literally our city's loss; A community that we are all an active part of."

She continued, “(It's) just the daily routine (that) you miss — your mirror in your bed and your pillow and the smell of your room and waking up with the kids. It's very difficult."

check LAFD website For local wildfire warnings and Click here For resources on how to help victims.

With reporting from Andrea Simpson