In this author's eyes, there are four perfect TV theme songs in the history of the medium. For instrumentals, the two best themes are Jack Marshall's surf-like monster music for The Munsters and Danny Elfman's Platonic Ideal Music for Tales from the Crypt.

For theme songs with lyrics, the two best of all time were, not coincidentally, written by Sherwood Schwartz. He and Frank de Waal composed the practical, catchy theme for Schwartz's own sitcom The Brady Bunch, while Schwartz teamed up with George Weil to compose The Ballad of Gilligan's Island. These two theme songs, each only about 60 seconds long, managed to explain - in rhyme - the premise of their respective shows while also introducing each of the characters. Additionally, songs are catchy earworms that burrow deep into listeners' brains, latch onto memory and never let go. When I'm 90 and my brain has shed all memories of my life and my family, I'll still be able to sing the Gilligan's Island theme song.

The Ballad of Gilligan's Island explains to potential viewers that the show's seven main characters were on a three-hour tour of the Hawaiian Islands when their ship, the SS Minnow, ran into bad weather. The ship was damaged and washed up on an unknown desert island in the Pacific. The seven characters listed are: Gilligan (Bob Denver), the Captain (Alan Hale Jr.), the Millionaire (Jim Backus) and his wife (Natalie Shafer), the movie star (Tina Louise), the Professor (Russell Johnson), and Mary Ann (Zora Wells ).

There is a lot of history to The Ballad of Gilligan's Island and some interesting stories about its creation. First of all, the famous "Ballad" was not the first theme that was suggested. For another, the band he recorded had to gather in the studio under duress. And, of course, there is the matter of the widely known "And the rest" controversy. Read on to find out all the facts.

The original pilot for Gilligan's Island was quite a bit different from the show that actually aired. While Denver, Hale, Backus and Shaffer were involved, the professor was originally a high school teacher played by John Gabriel. There was a character named Ginger, but she wasn't a movie star. She was a secretary played by Keith Smith. There was no Mary Ann, but a second secretary, Ginger's best friend Bunny, played by Nancy McCarthy. After several workshops, Sherwood Schwartz reformulated the Professor with Russell Johnson and invented the Ginger and Mary Ann we know today.

The original pilot theme, to stay in the spirit of the show's nautical themes, had a distinct calypso sound, complete with a different set of lyrics. The original theme was written by future film score maestro John Williams, with Schwartz himself singing the lyrics. Schwartz is said to have imitated a famous calypso master named Sir Lancelot. (No, it's not sung by Mel Blanc.) The original pilot, called "Marooned," wasn't available to the public until TBS aired it on October 16, 1992. Now, of course, the original John Williams song is widely available online.

Perhaps feeling that the calypso song was too silly (and needed the lyrics rewritten to accommodate the new characters), Schwartz settled on the well-known sea shack we all know and love today. This new theme, intended for the first season of Gilligan's Island, was performed by a band called the Wellingtons. Despite their name, the Wellingtons were not from England, but from Illinois. They also changed their original name, Lincolns, to cash in on the British Invasion. The Wellingtons even appeared in an episode of Gilligan's Island. performing as a fictional band called the Mosquitoes.

There's a funny story Schwartz told about filming The Ballad of Gilligan's Island with the Wellingtons. It seems that he needed the subject on tape as soon as possible, but, thanks to some scheduling errors, all the local recording studios were closed. A close friend of his had one at his home, luckily, and the Wellingtons were quickly transferred. Unfortunately, a close friend was getting ready for a party, so the Wellingtons could only film in between bursts of preparatory noise.

The Ballad, as many know, had to be reshot after the first season of The Island due to a credit dispute. It appears that Tina Louise, who played Ginger, negotiated her credit to be listed last, forcing Schwartz and the Wellingtons to sing "And the rest" when Russell Johnson and Dawn Wells' credits appeared on screen.

Bob Denver, feeling Louise's order was unfair to Johnson and Welles — they were just as important to Gilligan's Island as any other cast member — essentially pulled her ranking. Denver, it seems, also had a provision allowing him to state his credit where it wants. As such, he threatened to put his credit after Louise's, knowing that he, playing the eponymous character, was entitled to it. Rather than fight Denver, Louise capitulated and a new theme was written to replace "And the Rest" with "The Professor and Mary Ann".

The new theme, used in the second and third seasons of the series, performed a group of singers called the Eligible. The Wellingtons had a bit more of a professional music career outside of their Gilligan's Island gig, but the Eligibles were more of a fly-by-night musical act who didn't do much outside of singing The Ballad. However, we do know that they toured with Eartha Kitt.

The original Gilligan's Island lasted just 98 episodes over three seasons. The story goes that a new CBS executive wanted to cancel the long-running hit Western "Gunsmoke" to make room for some new shows, but that the wife of an older executive complained. "Gunsmoke" was her favorite series. So the Gunsmoke cast was rehired — at higher wages — and CBS had to cancel Gilligan's Island to compensate.

Although it only ran for three years, Gilligan's Island was put into endless syndication, with reruns airing on TV for literally decades. Interest in the show remained high, so inevitably there was a spinoff in the form of subsequent TV movies and two animated shows. The entire cast returned for all sequels and spinoffs, except for Tina Louise, who was happy to step aside to work on other projects.

The first of two animated shows was 1974's The New Adventures of Gilligan, which merely continued the adventures of the missing on the same island. Because it was published by Filmation and broadcast on ABC, the new show, despite being created by Sherwood Schwartz, claimed the rights to The Ballad of Gilligan's Island for its use. When the production could not secure said rights, the presenters opted for a spoken alternative word for "Ballad" read by the cast. It was ... close to the original theme of the song, but legally different. Denver, strangely, didn't read any of the opening poem.

The same spoken word approach was adopted for 1982's Gilligan's Planet , an animated sci-fi spinoff of the original show that transposed the setting to a distant alien world (!). That show, also from Filmation and airing on ABC, lasted just one season. It was, as of this writing, the last piece of authorized Gilligan's Island media to be produced (not counting a few crossovers with shows like "ALF" and "Baywatch").

Here, for posterity's sake, is the full transcription of the lyrics to "The Ballad of Gilligan's Island:":

• Just sit right back and you'll hear a story, a story about a fateful journey,
• It started from this tropical port, on this little boat.
• The pair was a powerful sailing vessel, the captain brave and reliable.
• Five passengers set sail that day on a three-hour tour. A three-hour tour.
• (Thunderbolts)
• The weather began to deteriorate, the small boat was thrown.
• If not for the courage of the intrepid crew, the Minnow would have been lost. Minnow would be lost.
• The ship landed on the shore of this unknown desert island.
• With Gilligan, the captain, the millionaire and his wife.
• The Movie Star and the rest*
• Here on Gilligan's Island!

* "And the Rest", as noted above, was replaced by "The Professor and Mary Ann" in the second season.

Schwartz also composed lyrics for a variation of "The Ballad," which played over the show's closing credits, sung to the same tune. They went:

• Now, this is the story of our missing. They have been here for a long, long time.
• They will have to make the best of things, it's an uphill climb.
• The first mate and his captain will also do their best
• To make it easier for others in their tropical island nest.
• (Speaking) No phone! There are no lights! (sing) no motor cars. Not a single luxury.
• Like Robinson Crusoe, he is as primitive as can be.
• So join us here every week my friends, you will surely get a smile
• Of seven stranded missing, here on Gilligan's Island.

The couple about the telephones and the lights and the Robinson Crusoe reference, by the way, were also borrowed by "Weird Al" Yankovic. for his hit song "Amish Paradise."

Now, dear readers, I defy you to forget the text. It might never happen.