Trista Sutterdeparture from special forces made a surprise appearance on TV, but it turns out there's a lot going on behind the scenes that viewers didn't see in the Wednesday, Jan. 15, episode.

“When I came back from the beach on the first day, I was in hypothermic shock. My lips were turning blue in the car on the way back. It was bad. I was extremely lazy,” Sutter, 53, revealed in an exclusive interview our weekly. "It was really scary."

not long In Wednesday's episodeOG told The Bachelorette special forces The soldier that he wanted to leave. According to Sutter, he realized it was time to get behind a mirror room that didn't ventilate.

“I wanted to go to the end. I really did. I wasn't one to just sign up for a show and get paid on day one, you know what I mean? I wanted to challenge myself as much as I could, and this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and the mirror room part of it, I wanted to get it," he said. our. "I thought it would be more distant, but what happened to me, they pulled me in and I was able to really connect on a human level. Billy (Billingham) And Q (Jovon Quarles)."

Sutter also recalled a connection with soldier Rudy Reyes.

"When I was on the beach, I stopped Rudy and I said, 'I think I'm going to pass out.' And he's like, 'Well, what do you want to do?' I said, 'I want to see a doctor.' And he's like, 'Well, you can't, you're voluntarily withdrawing if you see a doctor.' … and he's like, 'I'm sorry, you either have to do VW or keep going.' And I'm like, 'Okay, I'm not ready to go home,'" she explained our. "So I just kept going and she said, after the mirror room, 'I'm really proud of you. I thought you were going to go to the beach and you didn't and you kept going and that's so important and I'm proud of you.'

Sutter called the validation from DS rewarding — and a sign that he may have accomplished what he set out to do on the show despite his quick exit.

"They saw that I was giving 100 percent - although my 100 percent was not as great as professional athletes and Carey HartI was trying my best,” he continued. "And so just knowing that they see that I'm giving 100 percent means a lot to me. I have so much respect for them and what they've given to our country (and) their countries. It was really important for me to connect with them. "

The reality TV personality went into more detail about her decision to quit the show, explaining that she took a long shower to warm up after returning from the beach.

"Before we started filming (again) I saw the number 444 and I believe in angel numbers and guardian angels and God and great faith and all that," he said. "I went into it knowing or believing that my guardian angels were watching over me and went to bed. I woke up with a bang—we all did—and immediately a peace came over me thinking, 'You're good. You've been a lot these two days. Got something.' Just two days though. It felt like a lifetime."

Sutter added that the staff warned that if he stayed on the show and progressed, things would become more difficult for him.

"And it was already really hard!" He continued. “In the middle — running with the pack, which is basically a third of my body weight — it was really hard. I've never been much of a runner and those were the hard parts, the ones I was really kind of excited about and thought I did really well on them even though I didn't technically pass."

On the show, Sutter said he didn't want to be a "burden" to any of his costars.

"I wanted to challenge myself but (not) burden other people to help me," he said our Comment. “They didn't have to help me. Golden (Tate) was carrying my pack—you'll see it in a moment by the bridge—he had two packs, one of which was mine. And I remember telling him, 'I think I'm going to go.' He said 'are you sure?' And remember, that's when we're running around trying to get ready for, like, go, go."

Sutter reiterated that even though he was only on the show for a short time, it was a very fulfilling experience. He noted that other contestant Dennis Richards (who was the second recruit to leave) probably felt the same way.

"I have a lot of respect for what Dennis was able to do and he was second," Sutter said. “Everyone has a different purpose for being there. Everyone has their own unique reasons for leaving and it doesn't take anything away from who they are and what they're trying to achieve."

Sutter concluded that appearing on the series has given him back his "confidence" – as a person and as an athlete.

“I learned that I can do anything difficult if I put my mind to it. And part of me regrets leaving when I did, now that I've gone through what I've seen," he said. “But I keep trying to remind myself of how I felt in that moment and the peace that came over me, (how I) challenged myself with the experience and all the people I met, the friendships. I'm trying to be grateful for all that, but it's hard. I want to make myself say, 'Yeah, whatever. Screw that piece. Carry on!'

special forces Fox airs Wednesdays at 8 pm ET.